Read this sign Carefully :

       TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

Make sure you follow all instruction in a Laundromat:

       AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: 

PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store you have a problem with directions:

       BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office someone has a sense of humour:

       WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY 

PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.

In an office tea break is also a P.E. break:

       AFTER TEA BREAK 

STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN
ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a second-hand shop, read it carefully:

       WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. 

WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Some shops just don't offer a lot of confidence - notice in health food shop window:

       CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

At a Safari Park a comma surely makes the difference :

       ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
     

 FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, 

THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:

       THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, 

BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

A very useful leaflet:

      IF YOU CANNOT READ, 

THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

Repair shop are very important in society, 

notive on the repair shop door :

      WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. 

(PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)